Your wedding vows are one of the most treasured parts of your special day—yet the thought of speaking those promises out loud can give anyone butterflies. The good news is, there are plenty of ways to share or preserve your vows that fit your comfort level. Below, I’ve outlined several vow-delivery options, along with tips for those who decide to read them in front of friends and family.

Julia and Ruben share a heartwarming moment exchanging vows in front of loved ones at The Ryland Inn, each word filled with love and anticipation. Their excitement is beautifully captured by *Lindsey Zern Photography*.

Vow Delivery Options

Private Love Letters
Skip the public spotlight by writing heartfelt letters to each other. Find a peaceful moment—maybe that morning or even a day before—to exchange and read these letters together. Intimate, meaningful, and zero audience nerves.
Post-Ceremony Vow Reading
Write down your vows but reserve them for after the “I do’s.” During a quiet moment later in the day (like after photos or between cocktail hour), you can share them without the added pressure of a crowd.
Preselected Vows or Poems
Sometimes, someone else’s words perfectly convey your feelings. Choose a poem or vow template (I offer several!) that resonates with your love story, and read it—or have me read it on your behalf if you’d rather skip public speaking.
Officiant Reading
If you prefer not to speak, let the officiant read a meaningful passage, poem, or short reflection about your relationship. You’ll still have a vow moment, minus the stage fright.
Vow Blessing
A vow blessing is a beautiful way to acknowledge your promises without having to speak at length. I’ll share a special blessing or prayer, symbolizing your commitment to one another.
Vow Sealing Ceremony
Write down your vows and seal them in a box or envelope—perhaps with a bottle of wine—to be opened on your first anniversary. It’s a romantic keepsake that lets you cherish your promises in private down the road.

Considering a Public Reading? Here’s How to Shine

If you do want to share vows aloud in front of your guests, these tips will help you feel prepared and confident:

Friendly Faces Only
Look around—friends, family, and loved ones are cheering you on. They’re not critics; they want to see you happy and relaxed.
Rehearse, Then Rehearse Some More
Practice your vows out loud until you find a comfortable pace and rhythm. Pause intentionally for effect, and let your words sink in.
Memorize but Stay Natural
Knowing your vows well allows you to speak more freely. Recite them in the shower or during a commute, so they feel second nature—but don’t be afraid to improvise a heartfelt line if it comes to you in the moment.
Breathe Easy
Simple but powerful: Practice diaphragmatic breathing. Deep, steady breaths help calm nerves and keep your voice strong.
Smile, You Got This!
Think of a light-hearted, joyful memory just before you begin. It’ll bring a natural smile to your face and set a positive tone.
Go Bananas
For a quick nerve-calming fix, eat a banana 20 minutes beforehand. It’s a tried-and-true trick that helps settle butterflies.
Take It Slow
Resist the urge to rush. Speak slowly, articulate your words, and let each sentence resonate.
Connect through Eye Contact
Look at your partner; occasionally glance at your guests. Genuine eye contact transforms your vows into a heartfelt conversation.
Enjoy Every Moment
Imperfections happen, and that’s okay. Your guests (and especially your partner) are there for the love, sincerity, and happiness behind every word.

Free 3x3 Wedding Vow Writing Guide

Still feeling a bit unsure about where to start? Download our free 3x3 Wedding Vow Writing Guide—a simple, structured approach that helps you organize your thoughts, emotions, and promises into three easy sections. It’s the perfect way to craft heartfelt words without getting overwhelmed. You’ll also receive our newsletter, full of wedding tips, events, and ideas!

No matter which vow-delivery style you choose, remember that your words reflect the bond you share. I’m here to help you find the perfect approach—one that feels true to you and your partner. Here’s to celebrating your love story with confidence, joy, and maybe a bit of banana-fueled courage!